He Came: A Revoice18 Experience

You Came, I Knew That You Would Come

In the 11th chapter of the Gospel of John, we find the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. This account is powerful because it speaks directly to how Jesus can bring life into anything, even a dead person. Bethel musicians Jonathan David and Melissa Hesler wrote a song (You Came) about this from the perspective of Lazarus.

You stood outside my grave
With tears still on Your face
I heard You say my name
My night was turned to day

You came, I knew that You would come
You sang, my heart it woke up
I’m not afraid, I see Your face, I am alive
You came I knew that You would come

You said death’s only sleeping
With one word my heart was beating
I rose up from my grave
My fear was turned to faith

Two weeks ago, I made my way to St. Louis from Texas with one of my best friends to attend a conference known as Revoice. The conference, in its inaugural year, set out to “Support, encourage, and empower gay, lesbian, same-sex-attracted, and other LGBT Christians so they can flourish while observing the historic, Christian doctrine of marriage and sexuality”. Leading up to the conference, I felt excited, nervous, and a little afraid. As we drove through the night, this song washed over me (because we had it on repeat) and I felt something else. Hope. I felt hope because the God we trust is a God who always shows up. I began to pray this over the attendees I had yet to meet, that their hearts would be filled with hope that comes from knowing Jesus will come. And in all his miracle working ways, he did.

When we arrived to check in, the first person I saw was a gent from New Zealand who I had interacted with a bit on a Facebook group. One hug from Kevin and I was crying. To meet a man so sold out for Jesus that he would fly halfway across the world to gather with other believers was quite honestly, overwhelming. From there, we went to the pre-conference hosted by the team from Spiritual Friendships and as we parked, Daniel and I got overwhelmed with the reality that we were about to walk into a building where a vast number of the people were intimately aware of the road we were on because it is the same road that led them there. For the first time in our lives, we felt fully understood and known in a church without having to over explain ourselves. These people knew! While I won’t spend time covering each pre conference speaker (they all do deserve to be heard), I HAVE to say that Johana Finegan DID THAT! When I tell y’all she lit that room up, she lit that room up!! God was moving in that and greater things were coming.

Something I was looking forward to at Revoice was the chance to meet some one the men and women I’ve been interacting with online via twitter and Facebook the past few months. Thursday night dinner afforded me an opportunity to do so. We met up with my friend Anthony, his celibate partner Kyle, and their friend Silas. From my online interactions with Anthony, I believed him to be a kind, passionate, funny and genuine man who was fully devoted to following Jesus. To my joy, he was that and so much more! What stood out to me at that dinner table was how quickly everyone was willing to share their testimonies. The authenticity and vulnerability was so refreshing and would remain a theme central to any table you found yourself at during Revoice. The raw honesty with which Silas shared his story moved me to tears. It was a gift to hear his testimony and see his unwavering commitment to Jesus. He Came.

From there, we all headed over to the first night of Revoice. This Chapel! Pews, Stained glass windows and hymns! My kind of place. Again, I found myself overwhelmed looking at over 400 people who knew! The first night was full of laughs, new friendships, and praise. He Came.

A highlight of Revoice to me were the numerous workshops that were offered to attendees. I won’t run through them all here but on Friday morning, we attended a workshop entitled “Heartbreak, Singleness and Celibacy” led by Gregg Webb. Bravery Begets Bravery and that’s exactly what that workshop was. Greggs honesty in sharing his experiences with the topic allowed others in the room to be honest about the difficulties they have faced on this journey as it relates to heartbreak. We were empowered with the ability to freely name our emotions and process them. There was no fear or judgement in there. At one point, I felt like people were reading out of my journal. I realized I was not alone in my experiences. And most importantly, I realized that I was going to be okay. I wasn’t going to be stuck in my heartbreak. Gregg shared with us a line that is worth repeating here. “If it feels like God is smashing your wrists, it’s time to let go of whatever you’re trying to hold on to.” This simple reminder was nothing short of a breakthrough. God used the questions, advice and tears shared in that room to bring me healing and peace in ways that I desperately needed. He Came.

On my way to lunch, an enthusiastic young man stopped me and thanked me for a question I had asked during the workshop (on intersectionality) we both went to. We sat down at a lunch table and at within minutes of sharing our lives with each other, I was floored by his story. Most LGBT people usually have to explain their attractions and not their faith to their family. Joe’s story was unique because as he was coming to terms with his sexuality and his faith, he found that he had to explain his belief in Christ more to his family than anything else. God used Joe’s unwillingness to feed his flesh to show his family what Jesus meant to him. Through Joe’s story, I was reminded of what God wanted us to do within our own churches and what we could show watching world. He came.

During this same lunch break, at one point, I found myself occupying a seat next to Joel Collins, videographer and brother to revoice founder Nate Collins. Joel is a straight man and found himself a minority that weekend. While he seemed unsure in how to engage at first, that quickly disappeared and what I quickly saw a man who was there to learn from others and capture their stories in order to teach others. The remainder of my interactions with Joel were edifying, loving and a reminder that there are people who are willing to come alongside those that are different from them. He came.

Later that day (still Friday) I got invited to grab dinner with a group of people at an Indian restaurant. By this point, I had met half of the table so it felt very much like meeting a group of old friends for dinner. After about twenty minutes, I calmed down and noticed there was an older gentleman that I did not know sitting directly across from me. I asked him how we ended up at the table and he pointed to a younger man sitting next to him and said “this is my son”. With those four words, he had my undivided attention. I immediately morphed into Anderson Cooper, Barbara Walters, Oprah and Dan Rather and started asking questions worthy of a 20/20 special. Get this: He was on twitter a few months ago (like the cool dad he is) and ran across the revoice account. He noticed his son following it and asked his daughter why her brother was following the account. His daughter told him to ask him directly. He drove four hours to his Son’s college and his son came out to him. His son told him about the conference and his response to his son, which he shared with us was “Karl, I love you and I will walk this road with you as you follow Jesus. That’s all your mother and I want for you, is to follow Jesus. Could I go to this conference with you?” And months later, they made their way from California to Missouri together. Karl’s Dad was crying as he told us how proud of his son he was. He admitted that all of this was new to him but that he was grateful to be here. Father wounds run deep at a gathering like Revoice and in that moment, God used this father and son relationship to bring us all just a little hope. He Came.

If you have been keeping up with Revoice, then you no doubt have heard about the worship session that Friday night. That evening, I experienced a moment I will never forget. We sang the well-known hymn It Is Well and at a particular moment, I believe the Lord allowed me to witness a foretaste of glory divine. 450 people singing “my sin oh the bliss of this glorious thought, my sin not in part but the whole, is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more, praise the lord, praise the lord oh my soul”. As the song ended and I looked around, I realized that what all those people were saying was this, “Although my flesh wants something so strongly, I will say no to it because Jesus is better”. I was a voice in a chorus of some of the bravest Christians I have ever met. We left that chapel and went and congregated at a local bar as reunited members of a long-lost family. He Came.

As we began that last day of Revoice, I was honestly a little weary of what else awaited. I Went to two workshops, got interviewed by Joel, and had an exquisite glass of wine with two new friends. Weeks before the conference, I had volunteered to participate in a Revoice choir that was singing on the last night. So after this glass of wine, I head to rehearsal and focus my energy on looking for Conductor David Gill. With a mouthful of pizza and a frantic pace, I roam all around until I literally stumbled into Wesley Hill. It is often said that you shouldn’t meet your heroes because they will disappoint you. In my frantic disoriented nature, I got to thank my hero, ask him how I could pray for him and most importantly, share with him how his love of Jesus has forever changed my life. God places us in the most unexpected situations and uses the most unexpected people to change our lives. He came.

Dr. Hill closed out revoice with a rousing message on hope. I will admit I was initially surprised that he chose to use his time to speak by talking about the woman at the well. I was thinking “Wesley, you have a captivated audience, shock us. This isn’t new.” As Dr. Hill narrated the well-known passage, I began to see where he was headed. Imagine being the woman at the well. Who Christ first forgave, did not condemn, and fully released to go and sin no more. Wesley  said “imagine walking down from the well, being told to love the very same people who were ready to stone you to death. Imagine Christ telling you to love them since he so freely loved you”.  I WAS SHOOK. All the anger I felt about revoice softened. Not that my anger wasn’t valid. I am grieved by the ignorant attacks that have been leveled at Revoice. But like Christ calls us to love those who anger us, Dr. Hill reminded us all to do the same. He came.

As Wesley closed in prayer, Choir conductor David Gill called up his revoice choir. Y’all. This man gave us Whoopi Goldberg/Sister Mary Clarence vibes from Sister act 1 AND 2. In all my years of singing in choirs, I have never met a director with such passion. When he turned around and started directing the audience, they matched his passion.  I looked around, took the moment in and thanked God for the roads that brought all of us to that moment. He came.

We went out as a big group one last time. We got to thank the organizers, the workshop leaders, and connect intimately with friends who really became family. Revoice was not perfect but on this side of eternity nothing is. I was challenged, loved, comforted, nourished, and most importantly, time and time again, I was pointed to Jesus. Revoice was life changing, encouraging, healing, redemptive, full of love, understanding, unwavering on truth, and dared us all to hope with blessed assurance for what is to come. If that’s not Jesus, I don’t know what is. As Daniel and I made our way back to Texas, we listened to the song that started our road trip four days earlier. Each moment during Revoice that I said Jesus “came” was not about him showing up for the first time. The truth is, he was there all along. He always has, and he always will be. Those moments were opportunities for us to engage him, encounter him and allow him into the areas of our lives he so desperately wants. I saw God using each of those moments to draw my focus back to him.

In the 5th chapter of the Gospel of Mark, we are told of Jesus of taking a dead girl by the hand and saying “arise”. And with that one sentence, she did. I couldn’t hep but wonder if God was instructing all of us to go back to our individual places of worship and tell others to arise. To speak life into the lost, the forgotten, the ones so desperate for hope. Two weeks later, I am still struggling to find words to adequately describe all that I saw/experienced at Revoice. I believe in this movement. I don’t know what my future holds, but I am glad I know the one who holds my future securely in his hands.

While everyone’s presence at Revoice touched me, there is a small group who I want to thank by name for the impact they had on me. God used each one of them in some way to speak to me and for that, I am forever grateful.

Aubrey Holloman, Kevin, Scott Herr, Anthony + Kyle, Thomas, Joe, Silas, Stephen Moss, Joel Collins, Ron Belgau, Wesley Hill, David Gill, Nate + Sara Collins, Gregg Webb, Kevin Slusher, Ben Finger, Kolten, Karl, Merelyn, Bridgette, Ashley, Greg Coles, Hunter, Matt, Steven Bowman, Carly, Rueben, Andy, Tyler, Tom, and my dear friend Daniel who shared this experience with me and I get to do life here with in Texas. I love you all.